YOU Are the Mother Your Children Need

“Show up as you, with God!”

If we could really get it from those six words, we’d bet set. The problem is that most of us women believe there is more. We don’t believe we are enough. All your children really need from their mother is for her to show up in authenticity, hand in hand with God.

Over the years I continually evaluate who I am, and how I am the exact mother my children need. My children do not have a pie-baking mother, or a band mother.  That’s great! They don’t need that mother, or they would have been born to that mother. I have women friends who offer those skills and gifts to my children, and I love them for it. I love and appreciate that their strengths and weaknesses are different from mine. I am the crazy, little bit wild, dance-in-the-kitchen-while-singing-at-the-top-of-my-lungs mother. I am the pioneer, work hard and entrepreneur mother. I am the tough-love but loving-counselor mother. . . and that is exactly the mother they need to show up in their lives. I am the mother my children need, and you are the mother your children need!

There are as many ways to be a good mother as there are mothers in this world who want to be one. In order to show up as the mother I want to be, I have found the following four practices extremely helpful:  being intentional, creating moments that matter, changing our perspective from mundane to meaningful, and allowing the Savior to rewrite the story.

Being intentional

For me, this means prayer and scripture study every morning with my young family. It is the time I bear testimony and expound truth to their faith-filled hearts. These minutes, while powerful, don’t just happen to us—they are intentional—but it is hard to be intentional when we don’t have a clear vision of where we are headed.

Creating moments that matter

What good are our intentions if they never materialize? We act on our lives when we choose to create the intentional life we have so carefully planned in our minds. One of my favorite things is snowmobiling in our backyard with my kids.  We pile up on the snowmobile with the bobsled or another sled attached and we go crazy! We laugh, we cry and some of us wet our pants (don’t guess who!).  But we make memories: raw, outdoor memories never to be forgotten. 

Changing our perspective from mundane to meaningful

All that I do for and teach to my children is for their growth and understanding. The purpose of cleaning our home is really to teach work and cleanliness, and it invites the Spirit in so we can focus and feel comfortable at home. What if you put a picture of the Savior, or your family, by each mundane task: next to the sink, in the laundry room, in the bathroom, etc? Would you feel differently about why you scrub the toilet? All we do has a greater purpose. If we could zoom in on that perspective, would we find more joy in the mundane?

Allowing the Savior to rewrite the story

There is no story so tragic that it cannot be rewritten by the power of our Savior’s Atonement. The Savior is our great editor and can come through with a delete key big enough to erase any mistake. With His unconditional love and complete understanding, Christ writes over the stories of our life with redemption!  Deiter F. Uchtdorf taught, “How grateful I am to my Heavenly Father that in His plan there are no true endings, only Everlasting Beginnings!”

I share this truth with you: you are the mother your children need, in all of your strengths and weaknesses. I invite you to show up as your authentic self with God. When we as mothers live our stories in companionship with the Holy Ghost, what we need to do and say will be given to us “in the very hour, yea, in the very moment” we need it. We will be able to better help our children progress in spiritual truths and eternal goals as we join with God in our most sacred calling and purpose of motherhood!

In joy and faith,