As I have gotten older I have discovered that there are two relationships that everyone has that are more important then all others.
First, your relationship with God and second, your relationship with yourself. If either relationship, with God or self, is neglected, it will negatively affect all other relationships.
Today I am going to discuss the latter and suggest a few things that you can be mindful of to build and improve your relationship with yourself..
If you were to look at a marriage to discover if it were a healthy relationship, what questions might you ask? Perhaps…..
How do they treat and speak to each other?
How do they talk about their spouse to other people?
Are they each honest with one another?
Are they each considerate of how their actions may effect the other?
Do they have unreasonable expectations of each other?
Do they show respect, compassion and forgiveness toward each other?
In order to determine if you have a good relationship with yourself, you can use these same questions as indicators. Lets explore a couple of these for illustration’s sake.
How do you talk to yourself?
Now you may be thinking, wait a second there Kerrie, what are you talking about? I don’t talk to myself, I am not crazy. Just stay with me…
In your mind do you ever ridicule yourself and tell yourself that you are stupid or ugly or __________? Do you ever berate yourself for a simple mistake? Do you ever find yourself being overly critical of yourself, of your appearance or actions? Do you apply negative labels to yourself?
I have often heard people say they are ugly or fat or stupid and think that because they are saying it about themselves it makes it somehow acceptable.
Fellow readers, hear me now! If you wouldn’t say it to your best friend, you have no business saying it to yourself. You are a person as important as any other. You deserve respect from others and especially from yourself.
Okay, lets slow down now; I’m about to bring God into this discussion.
God has told us that he loves us greatly. To give evidence….
~Psalm 136:26 -Give thanks to the God of heaven, for his steadfast love endures forever.
~Zephaniah 3:17-The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.
~1 John 4:8- God is love.
~Romans 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
If you believe Him, truly believe Him, then you must realize that to treat yourself with anything less then self-compassion, self-love and self-encouragement is the same as treating any other of his children poorly.
If you continue to refuse to believe that you are as important and cherished as anyone else and do not treat yourself with equal consideration as you do all others, then you are acting in a way as to call God a liar.
Now do not misunderstand; I am not saying to be selfish or to sacrifice others to your desires is a good thing.
What I am saying is that you are a Child of God EQUAL to every human on this planet. As such, you should strive to view yourself through that lens, knowing that to abuse yourself with negative self talk or to deprive yourself of forgiveness and love is to show a lack of Faith in God. Believe Him when He says that you are His. His child.
It is good to sacrifice for others when it is motivated by a desire that springs from love. If a sacrifice springs from a belief that oneself is somehow less than someone else or unworthy when compared to another person, then it is a lower way. Love is the higher motivation. Self deprecation is not love.
Assess your patterns and look at your thoughts. Are they conducive to a healthy relationship with yourself? Shine Christ’s light on yourself and view yourself with a little of Christ’s perspective. Even ask God in prayer how He feels about you.
Can you give it a try?
Please choose to strive to believe that you are loved and cherished as is and let that love motivate you in all your efforts.