Yesterday we hiked higher than we’ve ever hiked before. My little girl did not want to be there. It was too early. Her legs were tired from riding her bike the day before. It was steep, and the path was narrow. Looking down scared her. She tripped a few times, and she was frustrated with how hard it was. We slowed our pace. I took her hand, and we kept going. We sent the boys up ahead with my sister. My daughter and I just sat in the discomfort of her tantrums. She fought me two thirds of the way. There were times my own frustration with her almost got the better me. There were times I had to carry her. There were a few times I thought it may just be easier to head down and wait at the van. But if there is one thing in life I’ve learned, it is that you DO NOT STOP. Keep moving through all the emotions.
I pointed out the wild flowers along the path. I pointed out as we got deeper into the mountain range, the prettier it got. I had her close her eyes and listen to the calming sounds of the water. I kept pointing out how far we had come, and reassured her that she was almost there. We found heart shaped rocks along the path. We just kept going-through the hurt and the hardness and the tantrums and the beauty. When we got to the final switchback, she started jogging up it. I could see how proud she was of herself. Proud that she didn’t let that mountain defeat her. I loved seeing her attitude change. I think nature helps. I think our own grit helps. I think having people around us that slow the pace, breathe through their frustrations with us, and show us the beauty of it all…it all helps.
I’m in the middle of a messy divorce. Like my little girl on the mountain, I do not want to be where I am. There are nights when I’m on my knees telling my Heavenly Father that I’m just so tired. That it’s all too hard. That I’m tired of messing up and not showing up as my best self. At forty-four I still have tantrums-wanting desperately to just give up, but He takes my hand and walks with me. He points out all the beauty, and all the good around me. He knows my flaws and my stupid moments, and yet He just keeps walking with me. I can see how far I’ve come in the last nine months, and I am proud of myself. We all have mountains to climb. They seem to pop up everyday. DO NOT STOP. You have it in you to conquer your day, I promise!